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Hello Readers, We must continue to examine how well our inner world aligns, or misaligns, with our external environment. The process assists us in identifying if we need to change, or something in our environment needs to change. It depends largely on the extent of truth you’re willing to tell yourself about what is not right. So, let’s get into this week’s Trio-of Thoughts about INNER AND OUTER WORLD: HOW CRITICAL THINKING HELPS YOU GET TO KNOW YOURSELF THOUGHT 1 AN APHORISM ABOUT THIS WEEK’S LESSON
This idea connects to how seriously we take what we know and how that confidence often can lead us down the wrong path. We assess all things based on what we already know up to that point. The journey should involve being open and alert to new and important ideas we see and collect along the way. Gregory Bateson (1904 – 1980) was an English anthropologist, social scientist, and cybernetics pioneer whose interdisciplinary work spanned anthropology, psychology, ecology, and systems theory. He’s best known for his insights into how living systems—from families to ecosystems—maintain balance through feedback loops and patterns of communication. His notion that “the map is not the territory” comes from general semantics and highlights the distinction between our internal models of reality and reality itself. THOUGHT 2 INNER AND OUTER WORLD: HOW CRITICAL THINKING HELPS YOU GET TO KNOW YOURSELF I’ve spent the last 15 years in the sociological field—first as a front-line worker supporting society’s most vulnerable, then as an academic training those same front-line professionals. We were all learning how to assist people to identify, analyse, and solve their social problems. Before that, I was on my own personal “battlefield”, striving to find social success with only the limited tools I had at the time. Naturally, that toolkit wasn’t enough at all times. But I had to be able to recognise the gaps in knowledge to seek out new information. The goal: to make decisions and solve my problems. Now, after 40 years, I have a lot more life data to draw from. I am also a mother, and I have three children whom I am paying VERY close attention to. The pattern of their behaviour has taught me the most about the differences and similarities between humans. So, in intersecting my personal experience with my academic knowledge, I’ve discovered two indispensable tools that have helped me make more intelligent decisions. I call them intelligent decisions because when I or others chose the right one, things worked out. When the wrong choice is selected (and the complex reasons for that are not always straightforward), we know that things do not work out. There is an Intelligence Code (TM) which I believe is accessible to everyone, and it has nothing to do with traditional IQ. It has to do with how well you use the knowledge you have, as well as the knowledge you can recognise that exists, to achieve a life that serves you well. You can be taught this. Two tools that make up part of the Intelligence Code are:
I need to use critical thinking to pinpoint my real problems. I always try to tell myself the truth first. You can’t get far without starting at ground zero, and ground zero must be the truth, or at least as close to it as possible. I need emotional intelligence to understand my own feelings and especially how they cloud my judgment—and those of others—with fairness and intellectual empathy (IE). IE is understanding someone’s behaviors intellectually and having empathy (the ability to understand how their perspective formed) for the way they are, despite not agreeing with their chosen behaviour/s. This is also called “unconditional positive regard” by Carl Rogers (1951), which is kind of like a therapist’s oath if we want to effectively empower our clients to cognitively rehabilitate. It’s effective outside therapy, too, if you want to change someone’s mind, that is. What Critical Thinking IsAs I observe, what the mainstream public seems to assume critical thinking is, is a heavy reliance on reason, logic, and rationalism. This is valid—and entirely sufficient—if we are analysing a purely quantitative dataset on a topic devoid of nuance. However, when we apply critical thinking to social issues, culture, and human ideas or choices, we must remain acutely aware of our own biases, for what seems right to us may not seem right to another. Analysing someone else’s life or experience, therefore, demands deep self-awareness: we must ask ourselves why we think the way we do to appreciate why someone else thinks differently. This reflexivity immediately fosters greater objectivity, and objectivity about the human experience is our best tool for uncovering truth. Furthermore, the more adept you become at recognising recurrent social patterns or the psychological consequences of choices over time, the richer your data becomes, allowing you to draw sounder conclusions and make better decisions. This is how you apply the scientific method in everyday life: we are all scientists—some more practised and therefore skilled than others. The inexperienced have less life data to draw upon; the experienced, far more. Core LessonNow, as I watch the world wrestling with complex challenges in a data-saturated life stage, where both psychological and social well-being are at risk, I keep coming back to one core lesson drawn from all my experience:
Applying the Principle
Childhood
Take our childhood, for example: we all point the finger at that space and the people who were in charge, blaming them for things that went wrong, and those wounds often shadow us for the rest of our lives. If our childhood was dysfunctional, it signalled a mismatch between our external world and our inner needs as a child. That mismatch can trigger internal conflict, shame, depression, or other mental ill-health, as well as lasting resentment. For many, this conflict endures until they consciously work to reverse the psychological damage. This takes a lifetime for many.
For those who engage in the process of healing that damage, believe me, this journey is both noble and empowering. You may think it serves no purpose, but it does. By asking the right questions, confronting difficult but necessary truths, and seeking to understand why it all happened, you not only resolve old grievances but also elevate your critical-thinking skills and increase genuine intellectual empathy for people you once thought you could never understand. This is deeply conscious work.
Workplace/Education
If your role aligns with your temperament, passions, and strengths, the likelihood of excelling is far higher. Or consider your child’s schooling: they thrive when they’re doing what they love and when teachers and the school environment match their unique learning style. All too often, we force children into ill-fitting “boxes”, expecting them to reshape themselves rather than providing a box that fits them. This is where most systems fall short, and we start this in the home.
Critical Thinking in ActionCritical thinking means digging deeper whenever something isn’t working. If your child is unhappy at school, ask yourself:
Peel back each layer until you uncover what needs to change—and what should remain the same. Partnering MindsThe same principle applies whenever two people work together, whether siblings, partners, or colleagues. Friction usually signals a mismatch of some kind: perhaps one person’s inner needs don’t align with the other’s expectations, or the external roles they occupy conflict. To resolve it, examine both individuals’ inner worlds—their values, motivations, and emotional states—and the outer circumstances, such as shared responsibilities or social roles. By identifying where those internal and external elements diverge, you can adjust your expectations or your environment to restore harmony and collaboration. The PathThe sooner we accept that each of us has a unique personality, cognitive makeup, and social experience shaping how we see the world—and that this applies equally in reverse, the sooner we can decide whether to collaborate or part ways. Sometimes we simply need to adjust, tolerate some discomfort, and reshape our approach; other times, separation is the smartest choice. But above all, no solution is possible without starting from the truth, understanding who we are, how we think, and how we behave—so we can chart the right course forward. THOUGHT 3: ACTIVITY Think about one person: Maybe your partner, your child, or a good friend/colleague you know well enough. Think about their temperament and think about yours. Reflect on how you interact generally, and what friction might exist. It is important to carefully notice what times and in what conditions friction arises. It is also important to think about where the perspective of each comes from. You may be right, or they may be right, or maybe both of you are right. Remember, sometimes discomfort within relationships is necessary. Think about what the discomfort has served. |
What type of thinker are you?Take my evidence-based Critical Thinking Test TodayThe test assesses your ability to reflect and draw on EQ skills in your life. It provides you with a comprehensive report at the end. 📌 It takes about 20 minutes and costs $9.99. |